I don’t want to be young. I’ve been young.

If you’re trying to keep being who you were in a previous decade, stop.

I came across this photo and quote from Andie MacDowell (who looks stunning, by the way) a while back and I love it.

“I’m tired of trying to be young. I don’t want to be young. I’ve been young.”

I would imagine the unspoken next sentence might have been “I want be something new, something different.”

One of the joys of aging is that we have the chance to become someone new, to take on entirely different types of risks than we did when we were young, to have different kinds of relationships – and that includes different kinds of relationships with ourselves. But we can’t do that if we’re clinging to who we were when we were younger.

Life can either be a series of new and exciting adventures or it can be desperately trying to be who we were in a previous decade. That gets old after a while (pardon the pun) and it takes more and more effort.

There is a sadness, a type of grief, that we experience as let go of who we once were, especially if there are particularly painful triggers involved like a death or a divorce.

I’ve had to let go of who I was multiple times. Sometimes with a sudden shock like a divorce, a trauma, and sometimes just because the world had moved on and it was time for me to move on with it. None of them were easy but they all created space for who I’ve become since and they’ve each opened the door to new adventures and possibilities that I might have missed otherwise. And I’m glad that I didn’t.

My 20-something club kid phase is in the rearview. I’m glad I had it. I wouldn’t even want to imagine trying to have it again. Life is always about growth and change. My hope is that you (and me) get to do it as intentionally as it seems Andie has.

Namaste